when she rebels

dont giveup.dun giveup! since yesterday,ive been yelling to myself.
what a day!~
a quite disappointing day. now i realized the exact feeling of person who failed to achieve the goals.
especially a person named student. :( huh, i can feel it. im feeling it!
but, ill keep glorifying Allah , for giving me the best remuneration for the past.alhamdulillah.

its no use crying over spilt milk. yeah, i know.
im not regretting!!!~
But, the condition have turned me into guilty mood. juz, i felt a bit guilty to my teachers and school. receiving dozen msgs from frens, keep asking me the same qs, its a tradition, its a custom!. indeed! i wonder, are they thinkin mad at me? yes frens, it was a reality!!! hmmm. fthmore being "ceased" and paused from such dugaan for a long time made me eventually to let myself experiencing a range of feelings; disappointment, anxiety, hopelessness! OMG. so dowwwwwwn!

hmm..not doin as well as i expected or hoped in exam can b really tough, specially for instance, if u've juz finished school, n then u need higher marks to get into a partcular course. it can also b tough if u feel as if you didn't meet the expectations of others, such as members or tchers.

i wonder, expectations n prssure from myself, tchers mmbers n school may b a postive influence n it helps to motivate me to do my best. at d sme time im sorted as a student who needs to seek for self motivation continously.
but however, too mch prssure can........
OMG do u ever know i jus think if it keep intimidating me hereafter...and then..till the boot is on the other foot!.mitak jauh~

once again, im not regretting!!!!~
cuz i know what i did. thanks to sir Azhar for soothing me up. i texted to sir n sir called me back convincing me.i agreed with sir.he said, its not the easy test u can take lightly.dunt be play2 ngan test ni. heck, im totally wrong. so pity now i realized the "hard preparation" that i did wasnt enough to hold the band that i supposed to get..

i qoute this sayings; kepuasan terletak pd usaha,bknnya pencapaian. so, the "hard preparation" that i did is seiring sgtlah with my result. i have to face the reality.

sir just acted fine, even i know from his words that sounded frustrating. and he even blamed himself for not teaching his students smartly. n.....so many controversy lah~ i wont story here. enough.
but, im still being spooked by the feeling of guilty lah cuz cuz none of the candidates is eligible! last year, ade la gak wakil 2 3 org. huhhh~ kesedihan y melampau.

hmmmm...i just wonder how to get rid of these feelings.monday and tuesday were filled by sadness. huhu... xde mood arh. sleeping trouble~x lalu makan~. i just chewed the chewing gum all the time.i prefer filling my time sitting in front of my laptop 25hours. i joined and i surveyed a forum discussion that related with my circumstance. i interacted to all of the notifications in fb. i tempted my sist to chat with me, with segala bagai topic,gossip-ing.huh, i think i succeed! i wanna throw away all of the feelings!

seksonyoh! due to this situation, i started aggravating my feeling. why i let myself to indulge into negative thinkin.?why?why? thinkin for my real and big big big result really tortures me. no no no i shud be optimstic! sy amat2 takot!! sy hanya mampu berdoa kpdNya bg pihak itu. wslm~

last nite entertainer~